I purchased probably the greatest DVD I have ever seen last week. It contained 8 Arnold Schwarzenegger movies on one disk, including The Terminator 1-3, Commando and Raw Deal. The DVD store had a massive 2m x 1m poster on its wall of Pacific Fair Shopping Centre in the Gold Coast, Queensland, which I found quite bizarre.

All these movies got me thinking, what would Arnie do if he were the Governator of Laos? Laos would be a perfect place for Arnie as there’s plenty of jungle to roam about, people with AK47s to shoot at him and remote villages to either assist or burn down. I think Arnie’s first act would be to immediately begin a country wide run through the forest to set off as many landmines and unexploded ordnances as possible.

His next policy would be to take a heft supply of guns, grenades and ammunition, for a month long tour meeting the local people of Laos and generally killing bad guys.

Finally, Arnie would travel back in time to early 20th century to help Laos fight their colonial masters. Arnie would wipe out the entire French army with the only help being an attractive 19 year old local girl he befriended.